Maybe I Told This Tale Already...

  

...but, I was home today for lunch & heard the great Fountains of Wayne hit "Stacey's Mom," and that triggered a few memories.  The first is the story of a woman in my office (here at Horn Dog Enterprises -- HDE) who walked around the entire place one day many years back asking everyone to vote for her in the WDVE (a local classic rock station) "MILF Contest."  Gentleman that I am, I took her aside and asked if she knew what MILF meant.  She didn't.  It was a little awkward for a week or so thereafter (even for HDE).

 

Anyway, in the tune, you get the feeling that the speaker is basically a young man, probably of high school age, who finds himself enamoured with "Stacey's Mom," right? I would argue that this is the usual / traditional sense of the acronym MILF -- spoken by a young man about someone's mother. That's kind of an important distinction because, technically speaking, "MILF" could be uttered by anyone of any age about any attractive woman who has borne a child. And, of course it's a subjective descriptor; a MILF to me may not be a MILF to you. But, again, I think it's safe to call it a young man's term.

 

It's also pretty much solely a guy thing (e.g., there being no equivalent term "DILF"), although MILF could technically be applied in a lesbian context (though I've never heard it used that way -- which, btw, would make interesting blog fodder).

 

As defined above, I never found myself in situation in which the term MILF would have been applicable. And, as I'm now clinging desperately to my late 30s, I suppose the window of opportunity has long passed for the proper use of that term. But I do vividly recall one MILF, at least as far as some of my friends were concerned. 

 

There's a guy who reads this blog sometimes called Denn The Hunter (referred to in my book, Tales of the Midwest as Alec Baldwin). Quite a few young men had a crush on Mrs. Baldwin -- especially a guy called Hero in my book. I was probably the only guy, aside from the Baldwin brothers, who didn't think of Mrs. Baldwin as a MILF, and that's probably only because I spent so much time at their house, she was kind of like a mother to me (or, well, maybe an aunt or something).

 

But Hero was so delusional about his MILF crush (and probably other things) that I think he actually believed he had a shot with Mrs. Baldwin.  Once when we were 16 or 17, I recall him vocalizing a decision one day: "I'm gonna lay one on her," he'd said. That was typical Hero stuff, of course. I don't think he ever did, thankfully.

 

Happy 4th of July. See you next week!